The Brit tabloids, including the Sunday Star and the Online celeb site Showbiz Spy, claim that America's greatest contribution to world culture, Paris Hilton, is headed to London for a prestigious position . . . as the star of Paris' Pooches, a reality show in which she will manage a (real-life) beauty parlor for dogs.

("Bathing a grody, smelly, flea-infested, mangy stray dog some snotty kid just adopted off the filthy street? That's hot!")

An anonymous source tells the Star, "The shop is perfect for Paris. It's a subject she's passionate about." After all, the source notes, in Paris' world, "tiaras for Chihuahuas are of real importance."

Paris has claimed that she has 600 pets scattered across the various mansions, homes, flats, pads and flophouses she owns all across our planetary system.